Wet Christmas

I don’t know if you’ve enjoyed your holidays, but mine was absolutely wet. Don’t get me wrong here, I enjoyed my Christmas day but, I never did expect my Christmas day to be like that – wet. though i really enjoy the chilly air that has been hurling around the town all day (no, make that all month long).

It was freezing up here at Tagaytay, I woke up really late – too late that I’ve missed most of the children that has been asking for “pamasko”. I love this weather when it’s all chilly and cold, longing for someone’s tight warm embraces; but all I’ve got is a hot mug of coco,  sweater and some blankets (layers of it). It just seems so not fitting for the jolly, warm and fuzzy Christmas atmosphere. It is odd enough that I’ve spent my whole day sulking and watching Christmas marathon movies, and not go to my relatives to greet them a happy Christmas. Though, I did went to my aunt’s house to visit and socialize, and yeah, to see my first niece too. She’s adorable, she looks like my cousin Abby.

Speaking of my first niece, I didn’t expect, uh, I didn’t know that I have already got a godchild! I’ve absolutely forgotten about him! Oh, poor child, but I did give him some cash though. Him and his mother went here at home. I was so shocked when I saw him and his mother. I was so shy to approach them, really! Gawd, you just have no idea how burdening it is for me to have been missed the responsibilities of a good godparent. It is because I didn’t know! I thought that all of that god parenting thingy was a joke when my dad substituted for me during his baptism. I thought that it was my dad who is that godfather of that child but, it turned out that it was really me who is the godfather.

Jeez. I’m becoming insensitive. I’ve gone cold. I’m becoming the Grinch!

Oh the weather outside… It’s freezing, don’t bother to ask if I get all nippy here, yeah I do. I’m frozen here forever, I’m just waiting until the resuming of class in January, but until then, my mind and my body would remain as docile as the weather. Shoot! I’ve just remembered, I still have to do that script! Darn…

Great, this is just the greatest Christmas vacation, EVER!

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him

his menacing look were as cold as the arctic glaciers. his languid eyes were fixated on me, watching every twitch that my muscle makes. every move i make is scrutinized, every shadow that my body makes is observed.
i did not know how to react, on whether i should smile or retain a blank face - void of any emotions; i was frozen.
suddenly, i noticed his hand being craned by his arms.
laid flat on the table, and slowly, inch by inch his hands were slithering like a wild snake over the grasslands of satin tablecloth.

words.

sometimes the things that we say mean nothing at all. like blank bullets on high caliber guns.
we say things that doesn't really mean anything, but if perceived by the listener, the words that we have said may mean indifferently. it is the listener that gives meaning to each of the words that the speaker says. if the speaker and the listener have the same semantics, then it would be easier for them to understand one another. this is how communication works, and communication is a very broad and complicated matter.

it is frustrating, both for the speaker and the listener if they cannot comprehend each other's words. one may mean a thing, and the other may perceive it differently. this may lead to misunderstanding and failure of good communication - miscommunication.

we have to choose our words wisely, though we can always fire blank bullets, we still have to choose each of the words that we would have to say. it is not irresponsibility, we just forget that sometimes the messages that we convey are either misinterpreted or misunderstood. we are but humans, and to err is a proof of being one.
there are no perfect words, there are no perfect language.

so why am i telling you all these? i don't know.
all i know is, i have this sudden urge to write and say stuff. this may have been probably a result of my overcrowded mind. i have to find an outlet, to let the clutter in my mind go. i have to keep more space in my mind, i have to let it become wide open. i have to think more of bright ideas and catchy concepts. i have to formulate questions.

words. my ways of expressing myself. through this, i can tell you that i am plainly bored. that i have become a stagnant being, imprisoned to the academical confines.
tell me, am i losing myself?

i am crazy. how can you be sure that i'm crazy? are you going to judge me based on this post to tell that i'm crazy. besides, how can you know if one is crazy and you are not. what if in my point-of-view, you are the crazy one and i am not? how do you define crazy?

words. are powerful. yet...
words. sometimes words are just mere words. you just give meaning to it.
words. you sensationalize it. you ignore it. you give attention to it. you read it. you define it.

power dressing!

gustong-gusto ko ang pagsusuot ng damit na may dating (na may arrive!). sapagkat nakakapagpadagdag ito ng kumpiyansa sa aking sarili. kapag komportable ako sa suot kong damit, pinagagaan nito ang aking damdamin at pinagmumukha ako nitong tao! hahaha. biro lang.

pero mayroong kakaibang pakiramdam kapag nagsusuot ka ng damit na magmumukha kang authoritative, di bale kung pang-porma ito o yung pangkaraniwang uniporme (para sa mga estudyanteng may uniporme sa eskwela) na ginagamit natin sa pangaraw-araw.
sabi ko nga sa kaibigan kong si Sharon kanina eh bitchy-bitchyhan ako. i looked like some corporate bitch ready for some hot leather action! biro lang din. imaginin mo ang straight-cut, flat front pants, nice fitting white polo, black leather shoes, black faux leather bag, and shades na naglalakad sa kalagitnaan ng walkway ng eskwelahan pagkababa ng bus.

wari bang sinasabi ko na:
"tumabi kayong lahat... dadaan ang pinakahayop na tao sa balat ng lupa." (evil laugh and grin)

pero seryoso, mayroong uplifting na pakiramdam kapag nagsusuot ka ng malulupit na damit. kaya ang payo ko lang sa inyo, isuot nyo lamang ang mga damit na komportable sa inyo. kahit ito pa ang pinakasimpleng pares ng damit na mayroon ka, magmumukha kang maharlika sa pagdadala ng iyong sarili - dahil nga komportable ka sa kung anong nakapulupot sa katawan mo. haha. naniniwala kasi ako sa kasabihang less is more na inadopt ni Ludwig Mies Van Der Rohe (isa sa nagpasiklab ng minimalism sa arkitektura). hindi ko sinasabing kakaunti lamang na tela ang isuot, ang sinabi ko ay yung simple lang.

sidestory lang: medyo lumalala na ata ang pagkahumaling ko sa leather. basta may kung anong kapangyarihan ang leather na magpaligaya at magpasaya. hahaha. itinuturing ko nang boyfriend ang aking mga balat na sapatos, wallet, pati yung faux o synthetic leather kong bagelya (bag). kasi hindi nila ako iiwanan kahit ano pa man ang mangyari. (kakaibang diversion ito Gee).

natutuwa ako sa sinulat kong ito. napakagaan at napakamakasarili. hehe. pagbigyan nyo na muna ako ngayon.