Wet Christmas

I don’t know if you’ve enjoyed your holidays, but mine was absolutely wet. Don’t get me wrong here, I enjoyed my Christmas day but, I never did expect my Christmas day to be like that – wet. though i really enjoy the chilly air that has been hurling around the town all day (no, make that all month long).

It was freezing up here at Tagaytay, I woke up really late – too late that I’ve missed most of the children that has been asking for “pamasko”. I love this weather when it’s all chilly and cold, longing for someone’s tight warm embraces; but all I’ve got is a hot mug of coco,  sweater and some blankets (layers of it). It just seems so not fitting for the jolly, warm and fuzzy Christmas atmosphere. It is odd enough that I’ve spent my whole day sulking and watching Christmas marathon movies, and not go to my relatives to greet them a happy Christmas. Though, I did went to my aunt’s house to visit and socialize, and yeah, to see my first niece too. She’s adorable, she looks like my cousin Abby.

Speaking of my first niece, I didn’t expect, uh, I didn’t know that I have already got a godchild! I’ve absolutely forgotten about him! Oh, poor child, but I did give him some cash though. Him and his mother went here at home. I was so shocked when I saw him and his mother. I was so shy to approach them, really! Gawd, you just have no idea how burdening it is for me to have been missed the responsibilities of a good godparent. It is because I didn’t know! I thought that all of that god parenting thingy was a joke when my dad substituted for me during his baptism. I thought that it was my dad who is that godfather of that child but, it turned out that it was really me who is the godfather.

Jeez. I’m becoming insensitive. I’ve gone cold. I’m becoming the Grinch!

Oh the weather outside… It’s freezing, don’t bother to ask if I get all nippy here, yeah I do. I’m frozen here forever, I’m just waiting until the resuming of class in January, but until then, my mind and my body would remain as docile as the weather. Shoot! I’ve just remembered, I still have to do that script! Darn…

Great, this is just the greatest Christmas vacation, EVER!

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new semester, new life, new love...

Good day!

I am preparing myself for school as I'm writing this.

Today is the first day of the second semester in college.

I just miss blogging. I miss sharing my stories. I've had a very hectic schedule last semester, and I hope I'll be having another loaded semester now. Being busy is fun. It takes you away from unimportant worldly matters and focus on things at hand.

I already found him. ^_^ We're celebrating our first month on Wednesday, and I hope to celebrate our relationship for years to come. Details later.

The sun shines brightly today, I hope I'll have a very happy day (I know It'll be happy because I'm with him. Hehe.)

I'm living, loving and enjoying my life. I hope you do to, or try to at least be that. ^_^

Ciao! Later then...

A dream

I had a dream, it was about the man who saved me from danger.

There I was living in a strange city, in an apartment, and there I lived by myself.
I was wandering around the city and decided to pass by the apartment of a friend. But I seem to have lost my way around to my friend's house. There I was stuck in the outskirts of the city, where it has been rumored to have been guarded by a vicious panther. I didn't know what to do, I was lost! I am scared of the thought of being attacked by the panther.

I was about to turn around to look for another route, to escape that horrible part of the city, when a panther blocked my way. I yelled for help as loud as I could, I hoped that the people would hear me, but no one came. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a black racing car appeared. The car door opened and heard a voice saying, "get in, fast!" I hopped inside the car and shut the door, I stared at the window, looking at the mad panther that was about to attack me. I escaped.

I rested my head at the car seat, eager to see who have saved me from that danger, turned my head around to the driver and saw this guy. I sighed and blurted out, "what an angel." His face has this trace of innocence, yet attractive enough to stare at. His facial features were both soft and defined, like how angels are supposed to be. He was tall, well built and has skin as fair as snow.

Exhaustion overcame my senses, I wrapped my arms around him and felt his warmth; that made me relaxed and comforted. He responded by embracing me with his free arm as he continued driving. There I slept on his shoulders.

I woke up at his house, in his room. I looked for him and found him about to take a bath, I told him I had to go. He wanted me to stay, but I insisted that I had to hurry to meet up with a friend. He didn't say a word, he gave me a tight warm hug instead. I felt like melting from what he did.
He told me that his parents are up and I had to dodge them on my way out, he didn't want them to see me, he told me to go out of the house as quickly as I can; and so I did. I saw their helper, she was about to ask me who I was but I just ignored her. I passed by a mirror and saw that I was only wearing shirt and briefs! I heard his parents come out of the master bedroom, so I hurried my way out of their unit. I found a staircase and made my way up. I saw a small door and opened it, and to my surprise, it was my friend's house!
The End.

I don't want to sound so desperate but, I woke up sad after that dream. I was having another 'wishful thinking moment'. Is it wrong to hope for something like that to happen in real life? - to have a man save you from solitude, to love you truthfully and unconditionally? Sigh.

----------

this is my first ever post from my notebook. ^_^ hooray for me and my notebook. ^_^

if you were to describe happiness in one word how would you describe it?

sunshine. happiness is like sunshine.

but what if it rained? then you wouldn't be happy then?

no. i'd still be happy, because behind that cloud of rain there is still sunshine.

happiness is sunshine. we should learn how to be resilient like sunshine-that despite heavy rains and storms, the sun will continuously emerge to give warmth to everything and everyone.

happiness is not just about contentment, or maybe it is. for resilience of the human spirit makes one optimistic, and this optimism creates contentment.

him

his menacing look were as cold as the arctic glaciers. his languid eyes were fixated on me, watching every twitch that my muscle makes. every move i make is scrutinized, every shadow that my body makes is observed.
i did not know how to react, on whether i should smile or retain a blank face - void of any emotions; i was frozen.
suddenly, i noticed his hand being craned by his arms.
laid flat on the table, and slowly, inch by inch his hands were slithering like a wild snake over the grasslands of satin tablecloth.

words.

sometimes the things that we say mean nothing at all. like blank bullets on high caliber guns.
we say things that doesn't really mean anything, but if perceived by the listener, the words that we have said may mean indifferently. it is the listener that gives meaning to each of the words that the speaker says. if the speaker and the listener have the same semantics, then it would be easier for them to understand one another. this is how communication works, and communication is a very broad and complicated matter.

it is frustrating, both for the speaker and the listener if they cannot comprehend each other's words. one may mean a thing, and the other may perceive it differently. this may lead to misunderstanding and failure of good communication - miscommunication.

we have to choose our words wisely, though we can always fire blank bullets, we still have to choose each of the words that we would have to say. it is not irresponsibility, we just forget that sometimes the messages that we convey are either misinterpreted or misunderstood. we are but humans, and to err is a proof of being one.
there are no perfect words, there are no perfect language.

so why am i telling you all these? i don't know.
all i know is, i have this sudden urge to write and say stuff. this may have been probably a result of my overcrowded mind. i have to find an outlet, to let the clutter in my mind go. i have to keep more space in my mind, i have to let it become wide open. i have to think more of bright ideas and catchy concepts. i have to formulate questions.

words. my ways of expressing myself. through this, i can tell you that i am plainly bored. that i have become a stagnant being, imprisoned to the academical confines.
tell me, am i losing myself?

i am crazy. how can you be sure that i'm crazy? are you going to judge me based on this post to tell that i'm crazy. besides, how can you know if one is crazy and you are not. what if in my point-of-view, you are the crazy one and i am not? how do you define crazy?

words. are powerful. yet...
words. sometimes words are just mere words. you just give meaning to it.
words. you sensationalize it. you ignore it. you give attention to it. you read it. you define it.

to smile without you

i leave upon you the shadow of our past
the unbearable baggage of infidelity
the shackles of regret that had kept me abound
i leave it upon you in exchange of my freedom

gone were the days of despair
gone were the days of distrust
for love had only remained only as a witness
to your secret rendezvous with materialism and lust

the unbroken agreement has been spoken
my universe will not revolve around you anymore
you will no longer give warmth to my frozen heart
and the sun will drift and nestle on a universe anew

until i no longer speak of your name
and i have no longer remembered the memories that we've built
for these are all burdens that had kept me coming back to you
i shall learn to smile without you

i shall swim against the currents of your being
i shall forget the taste of your sweetness
i shall embrace the cold and forget the warm arms that surround me
i shall hold my own hands in times of fright and not look for yours

i shall do all these for i have moved on.
for i have learned to smile without you.

nalaglag ang brip ko

ngarag akong pumasok sa eskwela ngayon. walang tulog at walang matinong kain. sumakit ang ulo ko, parang binibiyak ito sa gitna at wari bang sasabog ang utak ko. salamat sa prod namin kaya nagkakaganito kami, pero enjoy pa rin naman kahit papano. medyo sumasakit nga lang ang ulo namin ng dahil sa patayong kabaong na yan.

oh well papel. ayun nga, kumain muna kami pagkatapos nung essay namin. tutal, sobrang gutom na rin naman kami at medyo boring yung class na susunod - ang social psychology. ang boring kasi nung prof. lagi nga kaming nagpapalate dun kasi kumakain muna kami. wala po kasi kaming break kapag tth, tuloy-tuloy ang klase namin.

kaya dumeretso kami sa canteen, kumain ng sandamakmak na pagkain, kwentuhan ng saglit tapos diretso ng klase. isip-isip namin... "naku, eto na naman tayo sa boring na subject na ito..."

sumilip kami sa bintana, ibang prof yung nakita namin.
"dito ba tayo mga friends?"
"oo, dito tayo, ano ba. pero ba't iba yung prof?"

nahiya kaming pumasok sa aming silid. dali-daling umupo sa aming upuan at tumingala sa professor...

oh my god... ang gwapo-gwapo naman nitong prof natin mga friends...

"sir, kayo na po ba ang bago naming prof?"
"yes."
"sir... wag na kayo aalis ha..." sabay tawanan.

grabe, nalaglag talaga brip ng sangkabaklaan sa room kanina. pati mga babae sobrang laglag ang mga panga, halos sumayad na sa sahig. syempre, pati ako, instant crush ko na itong si sir. eh mas bata sa akin. at super may itsura sya ha.

ang saya, super landian galore kanina.
oh well, tuesday and thursday evenings will never be the same again. ^_^

love

love at first sight.
do you believe in such?

for all i know, it is just an illusion.
do you know why?

we are the ones who create the illusion of love at first sight.
we anticipate and think that we love that person already, when we haven't truly known that person entirely. because love doesn't happen in an instant. love doesn't happen overnight too. love grows.

an emotion like love is too complex to happen in just a snap. neither does it cause 'sparks' to fly.

smiles beneath the fog and rain

I woke up ten minutes past seven. It was a chilly, rainy morning.
I suddenly remembered that I was to accompany my cousin Kim to have our drivers license renewed. Immediately, I took a shower and got dressed. Went straight to their house after, waited for them to finish fixing themselves. Because I didn't know that Abby and Faye was coming along. They said they'll be going to the thrift shop. We then went to LTO near the Mahogany market at Tagaytay City.
Faye drove the car, they dropped us off at LTO, and they went their way to the thrift shop. There were a lot of people there, probably to renew their licenses too. Ate Kim and I went to get her form. I thought I had to have my license renewed, but the guy at the desk just had my temporary license and gave me my 'real' license. After he handed me my license, I quickly checked how I looked in the picture of my license. Gawd, I look so... Haggard! LOL! Ate Kim then processed the renewal of her license. I just waited for her to finish since I already got my id.
We decided to eat some 'goto' after Ate Kim got her id. Since it was cold and we had to wait for Faye and Abby to come back from the thrift shop. We were waiting for our food when an old lady passed by our table and offered us some sweets. She is one of those vendors with frail physique, you'd probably take pity on her since it was already afternoon and it seems that she has been working all day. Ate Kim bought some pastillas from her and watched her as she walks away from our table.

"Kawawa naman si lola noh? Parang buong araw syang nagtitinda", says Ate Kim while mixing her bowl of 'goto'.
"Oo nga, ang lamig pa naman ng weather ngayon."
"Kung pakainin kaya natin?"
I smiled back at her, nodding.
"Mamaya 'pag bumalik si lola dito."

I got a bit worried, what if lola didn't go back there at our table?
Checked the people around us, I didn't see her. I just asked Ate for some calamansi.
I was in the middle of eating my 'goto' when I saw lola offering people sweets.

"Ate Kim, ayan na si lola. Tawagin mo na sya."
Lola passed by our table.
"Lola! Lola! Teka lang po."
She was surprised when she heard Ate Kim calling her attention.
"'La, gusto nyo po bang kumain? Tanghali na po kasi."
Lola just gave us this big warm smile. Teary eyed, she covered her lips. Shying away from my cousin's offer.
"Ano po bang gusto ninyo? Goto? Kanin? Sige, pili lang po kayo ng gusto ninyo."
"Salamat, goto na lang po." She smiled back.
After lola finished eating 'goto', she thanked us again. She bade farewell and gave us her warm smiles. Ate Kim told her to take care, to keep herself from getting wet from the rain.

We waited until Faye and Abby arrived. Ate Kim and I went back to the car with smiles on our faces. I hope to see lola again sometime.

pre-Christmas thoughts

this blog is becoming boring...
so i thought to do more blogs.
i'd try to keep on logging accounts of my everyday life. and probably include photos and more colors here on my blog. i'd tell you crazy stories and keep you updated on whatever. i hope that you keep on reading my blog and at least have a peek on my crazy life. ^_^

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone!

happy morning!

I woke up today with a smile on my face.
The sun shone brightly as I smell the morning air.
It was past 11ish in the morning when I woke up. This day seemed to be different. This day was one happy day.
Today is the feast of the Immaculate Conception, one of the most venerated celebration by the Catholic church. This is the day when Mary was concieved without sin.
Well, aside from that. I used our brand new bathroom! Yey! Uhm, it is not really brand new, we just had it fixed and everything. Had the tiles replaced, the bathroom fixtures, the works. I was so excited to take a bath, poop, piss, brush my teeth, and clean my face in it. Hahaha. Yeah, yeah, I know this is so corny. But forgive me, I so love our new bathroom now.
I cooked instant mac and cheese. The ones that come in a box. That was fun! ^_^
I cleaned the house. Polished everything up from table tops to kitchen floor. Though I was not able to finish everything. I still have to wash my clothes, organize my closet and other stuff.

Oh well, there still is tomorrow. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be a better day than today. ^_^

this is for A|D

How do you look?

This one is for my super fashion god A|D.

Wow! We've been friends for almost a year! And I'm really thankful that I became your friend. I didn't know that fashion gods can mingle with mere mortal beings. I was really fascinated when I first knew you. I thought you were a snob! But I must say, you are one hell of a person. Because you have such intellect and soul not of a teenager, but of a matured man. I remember those days when we'd exchange calls for a li'l friendly chittychatty. You'd ask me for my opinions towards whatever incidences that you encounter. We talk about boys, and how we dream of those close-to-perfection boyfriends. A|D you know how you would paint your life. We, your friends are just beside you. To guide you with every brush stroke that you'd do. So, go paint that rainbow and smile.

A

uhm. to the one who makes my heart smile everytime, this one is for you.
i don't know how to play the cello, so i just got this song that i like that has cello playing in it.
i hope you like it.



Get your player at Mp3Profiles.com

raptured while on my way to euphoria

how are you today sir?
i'm okay, i'm quite happy actually.
that i've found people with sense and substance over the "meat market".
yeah. it made me ecstatic to talk to them about life and other stuffs beyond sex.

hopeful. i am hopeful that there are a few more people like them in an online community where buffed bodies and bulging crotches are praised and worshipped. and i hope that more people would come to realize that the brain is the sexiest organ ever created.

any(who)hoo-labaloo...

i so love paolo nutini's song, last request. it's a bit bittersweet actually... that he talks to this person and telling to just reminisce about something that they have done or some failed relationship and probably attempts of fixin that relationship.
here's the lyrics from that song...

Slow down, lie down
Remember it's just you and me
Don't sell out, bow out
Remember how this used to be
I just want you to know something, is that alright?
Baby let's get closer, tonight
Grant my last request and just let me hold you, don't shrug your shoulders
Lay down beside me
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere
But one last time let's go there
Lay down beside me, ohhh
I've found that I'm bound to wander down that long way road, ohhh
And I realise all about your lies,
But I'm no wiser than the fool that I was before.
I just want you to know something, is that alright?
Baby let's get closer, tonight.Baby, baby, baby
Tell me how can, how can this be wrong?ooohhhh wohhhhohhh, yeah
Lay down beside me
One last time let's go there,
Lay down beside me

hay...
but honestly, i'm "in-like" with someone right now...
but i just don't know, there's connection between us yet i don't want to become so hopeful that we'll end up together. man, it just makes me sad at times. though, i'd really like to risk everything for this guy. he makes me smile everytime... i actually woke up today with a smile on my face... and yeah you guessed right on who the reason is for that smile... effit... assumptions... assumptions... assumptions... i effin hate it.

about kylie...

i kinda liked kylie's new song "i believe in you". reminds me of that time when she was the absinthe fairy in moulin rouge.